I’m Donna Patterson. I teach how to date to win love. To master the dating game. To understand and apply timely human nature principles that prompt you to date with purpose & direction. I share articles, relationship advice, and personal coaching.
I’m here to help you “EDUCATE YOURSELF” to master the ins and outs of romantic love. The puzzling aspects of how men view dating differently. The confusion of today’s dating norms. The current slant of female sexual agency.
What does it all mean in the 21st century? Are all previous conventions now outdated?… Curious minds want to know.
We dig deeper than teen/young women dating advice. If you’re done playing games (been there, done that) and now want commitment, you’ll love us for teaching you how to get it.
You’ll discover the importance of compatibility—Of equal importance, you learn the urgency of complementary differences to grow your love stronger through the years.
Detect how to squash would-be threatening problems by discovering the #1 secret that bridges conflict.
Learn the confidential reality of “ONE” as the underlying key to enduring love.
First, let me explain who I am and why I want to help you.
I’m a recovering love-too-easily addict.
My desire for romantic love left me drowning in unnecessary rejection. I desperately wanted a husband and family. White picket fence & the proverbial dog.
At 32 years old, I’d failed date after date. Year after year.
I wasted many years guessing how to date for success before discovering the true nature of this ‘wonder drug’ we call love.
- I could have avoided hurtful rejections.
- Could have made better selection choices.
- Could have found real love so much sooner—had someone educated me about the mysteries of love—How to cope. How to navigate the ups and downs.
- Could have learned how men pursue to set myself up as the prize he longs to win.
- Could have been more confident while dating had I understood reciprocal love… Mirror image love… And the #1 word that puts men on edge.
This prompted me to launch Soulmate Matcher Academy, an ongoing relationship educational program featuring training articles, and an e-book series, peppered with attitude to help you find true love the right way. Easier. Faster. Better.
Education centers around a 2-step formula that defines what romantic love IS and IS NOT.
Next, we examine the 4 characteristics of love and how each contributes to a relationship to make it whole.
Finally, discover the most potent love of all and how this love enables couples to cultivate intense enduring love for each other.
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Listings of current articles are on the right under……..
I hope you benefit from content posted on my blog on an ongoing basis. And let me know what you find valuable. Ask questions. Share topics you want addressed?
Looking forward to sharing, and getting to know some of your thoughts.
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Its formula combines Agape’ (principled love) with Eros (romantic love) and establishes friendship that promotes teamwork. As team players they work together as one—in harmony—as a unit. Never competing against the other. Always cherishing their relationship as top priority.
Agape Love Definition
When applied to dating, this love is guided by principles of what is right and in the best interest of your partner. It is love that has an unselfish devotion and sincere concern for the lasting welfare of your partner along with an active expression of this concern. Practicing agape’ unselfish love enables couples to cultivate intense love for each other.
Stay with me in the days, weeks, and months ahead to focus, open-eyed steady on what to do and why it works to bring into your life the love you deserve.
Let’s begin …
Is there a “LOVE Academy out there in the “I want to find love world” that reveals secrets to unlock a man’s heart to—Love, Romance, Marriage? Or do you simply guess that your current partner might be Mr. Right? Or scarf down the latest guru spin on dating success? Or given up?
Sadly, many struggle with trial and error. We stumble. We fall. We endure the pains of rejection, lies, infidelities, incompatibilities. And end up wallowing in regret for time wasted leading nowhere.
Even worse, let’s say we meet a new guy (then with the same old mindset) because we don’t know better, we follow our same old dating pattern, praying this time will be different…
But it never is …
How could it be different following the same old hit-and-miss dating pattern?
From the Desk of Donna Patterson—I offer life experience supported by studies of psychological trauma. The Alpha Female’s Guide to Dating and Relationships. And relationship coaching credentials.
I’m old enough, wise enough, and empathic enough to want to help you avoid dating mistakes. Been there, done that. With my training, my desire is to help you find true love. Therefore this blog presents…
SoulmateMatcher Relationship Training. It introduces a gutsy, bold, even controversial series on dating for lifetime love. The focus is A Revisited Slant On Basic Relationship Fundamentals… An angle presented in creative non-fiction format unique to Soulmate Matcher.
This Revisited slant causes some women to cringe, rebel, deny, attack. Nevertheless, these bold practices and attitudes can lead to unbreakable bonding between partners because these principles bridge gender gaps by molding couples into team players in love.
5 Reasons Single Women who Spin the Wheel of Guesses are Alone without a Lover…
- Women in their 30s, 40s, 50s+ are tired of runarounds, game playing, womanizers, and commitment phobics. They’re looking for the ‘right’ guy. Problem is that the man right for Mary Jane could be absolutely wrong for you. How do you determine who YOUR right guy is? …
Unfortunately spinning the wheel of guesses often leads to a boatload of ex-lovers—Definitely not appealing to serious women…
- Young women often lack self-esteem and are too critical of themselves. Too tall. Too short. Too fat. Too thin. Not pretty enough. Not smart enough, etc. We feel for them because we, too, were once young. All they know about dating and relationships is what they pick up from Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tock, or other social media platforms. To say the least … Not the best resources. This leaves them vastly unprepared for the emotional journey of relationship building. Leaving them dancing in the dark…
- Some paint a fairy-tale picture of their “Mr. Right”. He’s a tall knight in shining armor, able to leap tall buildings in a single bounce. He’s Adonis with King Solomon’s intellect. …Really? What do you offer him to complete that picture? Clue—the REAL world doesn’t work like that. You must match like for like because Mr. Right wants to match his essence. It’s a two-way street. ***But IF your essence matches his essence—You’ve found your Cinderella love. (More later).
- Others give a man too much of themselves too soon. A man by nature is a pursuer. When you gush too soon, he loses his desire to pursue; he won’t bother setting you up as the woman of his dreams. He won’t look for ways to please you. Or surprise you. Or go out of his way for you. You’ve made his life complete without him lifting a finger. There’s nothing to pursue. Sad but true. You lose.
- Many are career go-getters. Their entire life is work. Making something happen. Being at the forefront of the action. No time to develop intimacies. No time to think about starting a family. No desire to become a Mom. Her desire is to become a CEO. Or the first woman to do (whatever). No thoughts of sharing her life with another. Her love life consists of brief interludes from time to time to satisfy sexual urges—Like Julie …
The Soulmate Matcher Educational Series follows a character named Julie. We follow her in her search for love. We experience her ups and downs, learn from her do’s and don’ts, then apply lessons learned to our own relationship situations.
Meet Julie who Shares her Sexual Agency Story …
“My college days were fast and furious. Books and boys. Hooking up was no big deal because my main focus was to become one of New York’s City most renowned interior decorators. My sexual encounters, therefore, were a way of exploring new venues into sexual broadening. I became a verified sexual agency woman. It was thrilling at times, other times empty— but always nonchalant
At age 35 I found myself ALONE emotionally. My career thrived. Bank account to die for. Lived the high life in an envy condo. But then reality clicked in— My high school and college friends had married. Had children. Workmates all had ‘significant others’ while I only entertained sleepovers from time to time.
Where was I heading? A life of One? That picture became less and less appealing.
One day I realized I wanted Love. A permanent partnership with someone to love and be loved in return. What took me so long!
The Loneliness of Living Loveless …
Even introverts thrive when loved. The need for human connection is real. There are only so many alone activities to do before you long to talk with someone. Share a meal with. Hug. Make love with. Walk a trail with. Debate opinions. Spar. Laugh with. Even Cry with.
Who was that special someone for me? Was it too late? Where can I find him? I started dating online. Some enjoy success—I met a lot of frogs. Through friends, though, over time I did meet five guys I dated. Let me tell you about them.
The Five Guys Julie Dates and the Dilemmas Raised …
- Jess: learn the outcome of desperation in my foolish dating choice
- Rick: see my definition of ‘relationship’ shattered by a reality check
- Phil: watch me evaluate temporary rewards vs long-term commitment
- Walter: experience my distress as I weigh the price of ‘settling’
- Stu: feel my excitement in the arms of an interracial relationship in an attempt to tame a womanizer
Each experience failed. Why? What didn’t I see? Will I ever find a soulmate? The fight for calm sleep was agonizing.
All this time, I’d been dating by the seat of my pants. Whoever struck my fancy at the moment. A sexy raised eyebrow; a dimpled smile; an expensive car; an alluring sexual advance. When I met Joe, I took the plunge to dig deeper and got emotionally involved. What a roller-coaster ride that was! — but I didn’t understand why.
Thankfully, my work assistant, Chanelle, noticed my depression and introduced me to Dr. Tracy Braun … And my love life changed forever!
Why Dating Blind shipwrecks Relationship Success…
Tracy Braun taught me a plan to date with purpose and direction. *I learned that my choice of who to date is the single most important building block in whether my relationship would succeed—or Not. No more aimless dating. Thereafter I dated understanding what I was doing, why I was doing it, and how it should work. All I had to do was listen, learn and apply.
Yikes! I Blew It …
Old habits are hard to break and I fell HARD. (I blew it with a ski instructor). Book II.
Finally, I Got back up using my Selection Profile set up following instructions in Book I.
Then. I. Met. DAVE. …
How I Won Dave’s Heart—Even When He Hedged on Commitment…
Dave Harlin mesmerized me with twinkling teddy bear eyes. A deep cleft chin. And dimples that melted my heart. He was kind, handsome, sensitive, intelligent and so sexy. But WAIT! ….. this time did I have the dating skills necessary to challenge myself into his heart? Had I learned from past mistakes?”
This is What Julie Learned to do:
- Unlock a man’s heart to love and marriage
- Overcome his hesitancy to commitment
- Control sexual agency until the right time
- Forestall rejection to never again face negative spurn
- Discern what to look for BEFORE agreeing to a second date.
- Trust his actions more than his words when you perceive a red flag
- Protect yourself from emotional pain by taking a bold stand to safeguard your heart
- Maintain forever love by applying proven principles thru the years with your best friend
This Matching Series is an Entire Journey into Understanding, Identifying, and Enjoying Soulmate love from Selection, through Dating into Marriage…
This is for women single, divorced, widowed, who are seriously looking for a permanent relationship. Probably more for 25+ women than for teens or tweens who haven’t experienced the “burn” yet. However, as an informative measure, this information will mature you F.A.S.T.
One day the pandemic will end. And you’ll want to date again in person, go to movies, dine out, walk in the park, share ideas, spar, make love with a best friend and lifelong partner. Especially divorced women reentering the dating scene. Even seniors benefit. You can do this when you:
- Select the Right Man to Date
- Date with a PURPOSE and PLAN
Here’s My Promise to You …
This series will help you identify your best match by working through six steps. Then how to maintain peak fulfillment in marriage thereafter as you walk hand-in-hand through whatever ups and downs life throws to experience the joy of love through the years.
Taught Only Here at Soulmate Matcher In our Unique Style, Content, and Format…
You’ll learn valuable insight that sets us apart from run-of-the-mill dating chatter. You know, the ones that squawk 5 ways to comb your hair to find true love. (LOL).
I populate this blog with articles, books, ideas, tips, suggestions, and other resources to educate you on dating, relationships, romance, and marriage. Even other resources for a well-rounded woman. Keep in touch; enjoy it.
Three Books Comprise the Series…
Book I is short. But it LAYS THE FOUNDATION for the creation of Your “SelectionPlan.” (Book I)
Book II is How to implement Your Selection Plan. (Book II)
Book III How to gain commitment and make your Partnership Work through the Years. (Book III.)
This post introduces me to you. And argues for RELATIONSHIP TRAINING to benefit yourself so that you can flourish in the soulmate love you deserve — And can attain — when you know how to do it!
DO THIS NOW — LOOK AT BOOK I
Click here: Book I- What 99% of singles don’t know about selection, but should!
Please COMMENT. Let me know what’s on your mind, and subjects you’d like to see addressed. I’ll answer.
Continue to check weekly for posts that inspire and encourage your journey to find true love with your soulmate.
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