Marital Success: How it thrives — Follow ‘Marital Harmonics’ Org Chart

Experience order, peace, happiness

It’s controversial as ‘hell’ but works for those practicing it

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This Org Chart for happy family life rocks!

It’s a bold, principled-based role-specific concept based on agape love. Initially, it might alienate …until you learn its powerful bonding value: Couples smile radiant rays happy to enjoy real soulmate love together.

Dave and Julie’s marriage, however, is floundering. Fights, arguments, and yelling, instigate steely silence and intimacy withdrawal…(no sex)

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Their voices howl cold words as blistering as winter winds in Vermont

NOTE: A successful marriage is hard work, especially in the beginning. Couples must learn to give and take, to share and compromise, to laugh and cry, to forgive and forget.

No matter who you marry, arguments and disagreements are inevitable. Some minor; others more difficult. However, love and respect will see you through troubling times.

Especially for women, respect is the key. Without respect for her husband, marriage will be difficult. With that in mind, the following discussion is based upon the understanding you have married someone you both love and RESPECT.

Dave had become a successful computer technician under Guy Andrew’s management. Especially in problem-solving. Guy seemed to have it all. Dave had watched Guy and his wife Terri, Friday at the company picnic. Even after 30 years, you could still see their excitement with each other.

Many may find the following discussion controversial — not relevant for 21st-century women. Initially, Dave and Julie both railed against this concept.

Therefore, I encourage you, the reader, to keep an open mind. Maybe you’ll learn a thing or two.

Okay … let’s begin …

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Taking Guy aside, Dave asked, “How’d you do it? You and Terri seem to have the perfect marriage.”

Guy smiled a knowing smile sensing Dave’s need, he continued, “I’d like to share some practical information with you on the structure of how happy marriages work. Bring your lunch tomorrow.”

Closing the conference room door Guy said, “Dave, I appreciate your favorable comments about my family. And I might add, well deserved. Terri and I have overcome and survived some trials and obstacles over the years to arrive at this point.

But whatever it takes, a good marriage is worth it. Because nothing else of real substance can substitute for the love and support from your best friend and lover.

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“You see, the basic structure of marriage is that when man and woman marry, they become one flesh, with one common purpose — to establish a cohesive, happy family unit. That is the common thread. …Therefore,

“Terri and I base our marriage on these spiritual bases:

That is why a man will leave his father and his mother and he will stick to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

So that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has yoked together, let no man put apart.”

“Whoa, the Bible?” Dave said incredulously, his brows arched suspiciously as he leaned back. Oh, no. I’m not particularly religious. Besides, I have my own beliefs. So, NO!

“Hear me out, will you Dave? Guy continued, “Based upon its authority, we explain the basis for successful marriage in a concept called Marital Harmonics.

Marital Harmonics explains how unity is achieved in this arrangement through the fulfillment of assigned ‘complementary roles’ designated to husband and wife — complementary roles that are based on unselfish principled love that never fails.” SoulmateMatcher Book III.

“That’s quite a heavy statement. I think you lost me here, pal,” Dave said.

“Yes, it is,” Guy continued. “And let me show you why.” Reaching for a pencil and pad he began to draw blocks of an organizational chart.

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 “On this organizational chart, each family member plays a specific role which contributes to family unity and promotes individual growth to full potential.

The husband/father takes the lead by always working with other ‘team members for the betterment of the family.

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It’s much like a well-structured business where all the employees work together as a team. But at the same time, everyone recognizes that one of them has priority leadership responsibility. And that one person makes final decisions for the company.

Other team members accept and support this arrangement for the good of the company as a whole.

“To illustrate this, let’s establish an imaginary company.” He wrote XYZ Inc. above the chart outline and handed the pad and pencil to Dave. “Now, suppose you’ve been selected CEO. How would you structure your new company? Would you do everything yourself?”

“Of course not — The way I see it, the CEO has the most weighty, responsible position. But in order to discharge his directorship successfully, he needs to surround himself with competent people who are just as capable, often more capable than himself in specific areas.

People he respects and who will perform at a high level of proficiency in their field of expertise. And, very importantly, trustworthy people he can consult for vital input in making major decisions.”

“Because you are CEO, would you think these people inferior?” Guy asked.

“Of course not,” Dave answered. “They’d be the top men and women in their field!”

Leaning back in his chair, clasping his fingertips together, Guy probed further. “Okay. Now in your role as CEO, what leadership characteristics do you feel you should demonstrate toward the other team members?”

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“Well, I should be people-oriented, decisive, motivational, empathetic, a problem-solver, and at times, a disciplinarian. My job would be to direct company business through effective management skills, eliciting the best from my people for the success of the company.”

“But, what if your style were harsh, domineering, non-communicative, and restrictive. How would that affect the company as a whole?” asked Guy.

“It would certainly affect company morale,” Dave answered. “No one can excel under such negative circumstances. The company would probably suffer in the long run.”

“Here’s another scenario,” continued Guy. “The VP of Operations decides he doesn’t agree with your management style. He begins to undermine your authority and openly ridicules your decisions, obstinately refusing to support you.

What effect do you suppose those actions would have on other company employees and on the company as a whole?”

“Disastrous effects,” answered Dave. “Other employees would begin taking sides. There would be discord, backbiting, complaining, little cooperation, and low morale. No doubt the company would begin to crumble from within due to dissension and lack of clear direction.”

“Yes,” said Guy nodding. “For a business to succeed, it needs competent leadership and employee support.

And so it is with the family arrangement: There has to be competent leadership that oversees the welfare of the family. 

Leadership that provides stability, direction, training, and love. leadership administered with such care that it earns the respect and support of all family members.

“What about my wife?” Dave blurted out. “Does she just sit and obey?”

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No way!” He abruptly stood, clearly disturbed, he shrugged. “I don’t think I can agree with you on this. It’s just not acceptable today. Besides, Julie would never … buy-in …She would be outraged at this concept!

He thanked Guy and left.

This short excerpt is the beginning of Dave’s and Julie’s journey into soulmate love. Dave learned there is structure to marriage. Further posts will reveal their step-by-step transformation from a chaotic clawing marriage — to a calm, caring, caressing marriage.


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Donna Patterson


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I write Relationship Training highlighting the value of “order as team players.” Your support makes this possible. Follow me to receive unique skills for partner success. Become a Medium member. FREE: “Six Bold Dating Steps”. Click here.

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