Even though we all need love and crave love from others, ultimately, we’re all responsible for our own happiness. Love is first of all, an inside job. Love of self gives us the confidence we need to give and to receive the highest level of love in return.
Lack of self-love causes low self-esteem and leads to certain fears:
- fear of self-responsibility – many feel that if only they had a boyfriend or a lover, or a husband, then everything would be fine. That our happiness depends on an external force. Not so. A suitable companion can certainly enhance life, but we must find happiness with or without a mate. It’s not someone else’s responsibility to make us happy. It’s our own responsibility.
- fear of aloneness – no one wants to grow old alone. True. But it happens. So realizing this, live your life aware of that possibility and make things happen for yourself. Reality is that each of us is alone anyway in the sense that no one else can think for us, feel for us, live for us or give meaning to our life except us–it’s an inside job!
- fear of unworthiness – that no one loves me because I’m not smart enough, pretty enough, slim enough, and so forth. When you love yourself and live your life with purpose, you will never feel unworthy of love.
- fear in desperation – can cause women to latch on to wrong choices. Even if he is compatible, desperation can cause her to smother him, and then love dies.
- fear of taking a chance on love. Afraid of being afraid.
Love of self, on the other hand, is positive and rewarding:
- Self-love provides confidence in relying on your own inner resources to make you happy. It builds high self-esteem that is very appealing to everyone you meet.
- Self-love provides confidence in accepting aloneness, which allows acceptance of your lover’s aloneness. You won’t fear losing him. You allow him ‘space’ and love grows.
- Self-love provides confidence that by being the best you can be you will attract your best match. You’ll find the one who will accept you for who and what you are as a confident individual, resulting in a rich, rewarding, and balanced relationship.
- Opposites, for the most part, should never marry. The chances that their differences will clash are very great. Differences in couples should be because one is male and the other female, not in the sense of being at odds with each other.
- Differences should inspire growth and ignite excitement.
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