WATCH FOR THE SIGNS
When it’s time to tango vs when it’s time to chill
This is the continuation of “Can You Tame a Womanizer.”
Later, tossing in bed, my emotional turmoil continued. “I must confront him, to see where this relationship is going. What if he gets angry? What if he refuses to answer? Am I asking too much from him?” These and other questions exhausted me until I drifted off to sleep.
“Juliet,” said Larry strolling into her office, “I hear you’re seeing Stu Malone.”
“You have a problem with that?”
“No, no, don’t get me wrong,” Larry assured her. “It’s just that he’s quite a womanizer, and I didn’t think that was your type.”
My face reddened as I awkwardly changed the subject.
The next evening Stu called and invited me to Supper club 5 Friday night. It had been almost two weeks since I last heard from him. I called, texted, and left messages, but he hadn’t returned my calls.
I was practically going out of my mind with worry. Is he seeing someone else? Does he love me? Where is this relationship going? I can’t sleep. Can’t eat. Something has to give. I will confront him. Friday night I will find out where we’re going.
When he picked me up, my heart leaped at the sight of him. “Hi,” I said hoping to sound calm and casual.
Throughout dinner, he talked of his recent business dealings and apologized for not keeping in touch. “Too busy, caught up in his work,” he said. Taking my hand in his, he continued in his sexy baritone voice, “Lady, I’ve really missed you.
“Here, these are for you.” He presented me with a dozen long-stemmed red roses. “For the loveliest lady in the land.”
“Oh, Stu, they’re beautiful.” I picked one out, closed my eyes, and smelled its fragrance. I hugged him, thanking him for his thoughtfulness. “How could I have doubted him?” I thought scolding myself.
“He was busy. I need to be more understanding, more trusting of his feelings for me. No need to confront him now. He loves me,” I convinced herself.
“Let’s go back to my place,” he whispered.
Alone with him, I ardently wrapped her arms around his neck as he drew me close. Caught up in his arms, we danced to the pulsating rhythm of Sade. Oh, the smell of him. The touch of him. So close. And the intoxicating kisses — nothing mattered but feasting on him.
I was his captive under his spell, totally caught up in the magic of Stu Malone. Slowly, he unzipped my dress.
Suddenly, the phone rang. Checking the caller’s I.D., Stu cursed under his breath and ignored the call. A few minutes later, it rang again. His left eye frowned. He glanced at me. “Another woman,” I thought.
Even as he resumed holding me, the spell was broken. Common sense prevailed. Noticing the change, Stu, looking into my eyes, said, “Now baby, don’t go getting yourself upset over nothing.” He nuzzled my ear and whispered, “Let’s love the night away.”
“Stu,” I forced myself to say, “Are you seeing other women?”
Tension surged like a fireball between us before he spoke. “Like I said, don’t go worrying your pretty head about anything but you and me and tonight,” as he ran his fingers through my hair.
“But that’s just it,” I pushed him away. “I do worry about more than just tonight. I want a monogamous relationship. Exclusivity. Something with a future. I need to know where we stand. This is important to me.”
His eyes riveted on mine. Taking a deep breath, he replied, “Baby, a man’s a man, you know that.”
“Stu, what does that mean? Am I in your future? Do we have a future together?”
His voice bristled. “To hell with all these $#$% questions! No one woman pins me down,” he snapped. Taking her in his arms again, he whispered, “now pretty woman, let’s love, not fight.”
“No, Stu,” I stammered, struggling against him. “I need to know. I’m serious about you and need to know whether you are serious about me.”
Abruptly, he let me go, “I don’t have time for this bullshit! You’re either with me tonight, or you’re not!”
At that remark, I saw that in response to my honest openness, in response to my heartfelt plea to know his intentions toward me, he’d turned the tables to make me feel guilty for asking.
He offered no words of consolation. No words of comfort to ease my mind. No reassuring promises. Nothing. He simply implied that if I didn’t respond to him and his wishes tonight — that it would be over.
Is this how the love of my life would respond to me? Is this man serious about me or does he simply want to play? Am I going to see him only when he wants sex, and it’s convenient for him? Do I see a reflection of myself in this man? All these and other questions raced through my mind.
It then dawned on me we’d never spoken of anything serious. I had not listened to the unspoken. The spoken revealed sexual attraction and good times. The unspoken, revealed by what was not expressed, indicated that sexual attraction was all there was to this relationship on his part.
I had been caught up in only what I wanted to believe — my dreams. Not dreams we both shared. I stared at him while this realization registered.
I hadn’t tamed the womanizer.
Quietly I pushed him away, and said softly with tears in my eyes, “Goodbye.”
Lesson learned: Never ASSUME. There is no substitue for indepth intimate conversation to clearly define true intentions. If he’s not willing to open up to express honest intention, what basis is present for building a relationship?
Also, what was he telling her when he said: “a man’s a man, you know that.” Was that a lifestyle she was willing to settle for?
Her Self VALUE told her NO!
Juliet had taken on someone who knew how to manipulate her heart for his own selfishness (he grooved and used). She knew of his reputation — But decided to play HIS game anyway hoping to win. Instead she tangled with a womanizer — And lost… She should have chilled and passed.
The next post explores WHAT a womanizer often uses as his main leverage to capture hearts and HOW and WHY women must void this trap.
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