Dating Skills: How a Post Roast Can Win the Ring

Let’s have fun with this post. Won’t be mad if you disagree. Share your viewpoint loud and clear…

Soulmate Matcher (via an unofficial survey) asked young men in their 30s & 40s what they’re looking for when considering a lifetime partner. We asked them to list their top 7 requirements (besides sex).


man thinking

Men responded from all walks of life from blue-collar to professionals: postmen, firemen, policemen, truck drivers, construction workers. Also, engineers, doctors, lawyers,  computer programmers, and Indian chiefs so to speak.


Ready for a surprise! …At least it surprised us.


We were thinking:

  • Sensuous and Alluring
  • Healthy and physically fit
  • Assertive and strong
  • Educated and confident
  • Talented and creative
  • Financially secure
  • Money-management skills
  • Sports-minded participants/viewers


Come to find out— these attributes are what women THINK men are looking for. To a certain extent that’s true because …

Men welcome help with finances, today it often takes two paychecks to live well and raise a family. A college degree equates to more money in joint bank accounts.

Some choose educated women for perceived corresponding compatibility. Money management skills help with wise use of funds including sensible investment decisions.


Then of course he wants her to be attractive, healthy, and hot!


Won’t hurt if she’s also uniquely creative giving vibes of self-worth, and independence, with super-star financial potential.


That she’s a sports enthusiast whooping and hollering side by side with him cheering on his favorite team is just too good to be true!


That said, however, … (let’s hear the bells and whistles)



The number one requirement men list is …


That she can cook!




Yes, you read that right.


“Chauvinistic pigs!” I hear you scream.  “How can that be in this 21st century?”


Ladies, this is where understanding Human Nature laws and the principles come to play as explained in the “Soulmate Matcher” Book Series. It discusses how Order in the universe sets the pattern for Order in successful, happy relationships.

Order in the Universe

 Now listen with an open mind as I comment on HOW the Order established in the universe subsequently trickles down as the guiding-light Order for couples.

We see laws of nature at work when astronomers, peering through high-tech telescopes, discover, to their amazement, more galaxies, more stars, and previously unknown planets. They estimate there are BILLIONS of galaxies, each with billions of stars like our sun.


Why, in just our solar system alone, the Milky Way contains over 100 billion stars! Some scientists estimate at least 200 to 400 billion.  Others project there could be as many as five to ten trillion stars in the Milky Way galaxy.


Further, our Milky Way galaxy is about 600 quadrillion miles in diameter, that’s (600,000,000,000,000,000) miles, and is just one of over 50 BILLION galaxies in the known universe.  Yet our galaxy is just the beginning of what is outer space.


Now what makes these statistics truly astounding is that these galaxies are not scattered haphazardly in space.  Oh, No!  They are usually arranged in definite groups called clusters, like grapes in a bunch.  And then the clusters themselves are arranged in “superclusters” like bunches of grapes on a vine.  And they all orbit flawlessly.


This “Order” is what makes scientists marvel.  They stand in awe of this superbly organized movement.  In our solar system, for instance, the sun is the “nucleus” around which the earth and the other planets with their moons move in precise orbits.

Year after year, they revolve with such mathematical certainty that astronomers can accurately predict where they will be at any future time.

Former astronaut John Glenn noted “the Orderliness of the whole universe about us,” and that the galaxies were “all traveling in prescribed orbits in relation to one another.”


Yes, the entire universe is programmed to work flawlessly. Orbiting right on time— like a priceless watch that keeps perfect time. Orbiting without deviation.




What’s the point of this mini-science lesson you ask?  It’s that by universal laws of nature, ORDER abounds in the universe.  And these universal laws of nature never fail to produce the best results for this vast universe including our planet earth.


Order in Human Relationships


Likewise, programmed laws (Order) clearly define human nature. This structural ORDER dictates how relationships work best.


Today many have tried to change the Order of human interactions from what they consider old-fashioned to more progressive, more liberal updated thinking for the 21st century.


No more ORDER to the marriage/relationship arrangement.  Oh no, it’s ‘do your own thing’. No more taboos.  Anything goes…


Hey, why not.  This is a free society.  And yes, you can do pretty much what you want. Who’s to stop people from trying to change what they deem outdated?


But, H-E-L-L-O … what are the results?  Divorce is skyrocketing to 1 out of 2 marriages. Separations, broken hearts, custody battles, torn apart families are the “normal”.


FACT: Human Nature Laws Remain the Same —from its beginning moving forward. 


Now I hear you ask, “What does all this have to do with how to make MY relationship work? How to bring love into MY life. How to enhance MY dating experience?


It’s this.  To make our relationship work, we must understand the programmed ORDER of structure. Couples are programmed to work in sync together as ONE, harmonize in unity, and live as team players orbiting their lives around sound principles of Order as the universe does.


Sans ORDER, troubles between couples spiral out of control and slam into each other like rebel run-a-way planets would do (without Order), colliding in catastrophe. Not knowing the way out.


The only way back to love and happiness between couples is to get back to basics.  Understanding role specifics and working within that orbit.




Now here’s the sobering fact.  It doesn’t matter whether you believe in this ORDER or not.  Doesn’t matter whether modern society believes it or not.  Doesn’t matter whether men consciously understand this or not.  Doesn’t matter whether women fight against it or not. It’s already programmed into the genes — NOTHING can change that! Defy at your own expense.


Which by the way, takes us back to why men list as number one, that their partner can cook.


By nature, a man sees himself as responsible for his family’s well-being: the leader, protector, and bread-winner.  Even if he doesn’t live up to that responsibility (deadbeat) he knows he should.  It’s human nature. (Feminist, I hear your outrage…keep reading).


When a man of the 21st century seeks a woman who can cook, it’s not a demeaning request. It’s instinctive.  He’s simply looking for that complement of his— the other half that completes the union — the one that provides support and nurturing. The one that kindles the home fires.  No doubt he hasn’t the foggiest idea of why he’s requesting this, again, it’s instinctive. It all boils down to human nature and the programmed ORDER of the marriage arrangement.




It DOESN’T mean that women stay home and cook all day.  It doesn’t mean we all revert to Donna Reed (50’s sitcom) standing at the door with apple pie in hand when our warrior husband returns from work.  It doesn’t mean we never go out to eat, nor never stop to buy fast food.


Also, it doesn’t mean that the man never cooks.  Could be in some households he chooses to do all the cooking.  The point is recognizing the ORDER and then working together to find the right balance for YOUR relationship by mutual consent.




It’s that understanding the woman’s core role NEVER changes.  No matter what she aspires to do as a career – lawyer, doctor, Indian Chief — if she wants to maintain a happy family life, she will recognize that she cannot sidestep her role in the ORDER of things and expect marital harmony and happiness. … It ain’t gonna happen.


All things being equal, then, when a man has the choice between two women, by nature, he would lean toward the one he feels more likely to be his complement – not fighting against him for power and control, but the one who would more readily keep family as first priority and all that that entails – including preparing home-cooked meals.  It’s just the way it is!


Is this true expression: the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach?”


This post introduces me to you—you to me. And argues for RELATIONSHIP TRAINING to benefit yourself and flourish in the soulmate love you deserve — And can attain — when you know how to do it!


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Donna Patterson

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