Book II: Six Dating Secrets Women Hate That Work

Let’s talk dating—The right way — In a way called AbstiSense. Not abstinence. We’re not talking Sermon on the Mount here.


AbstiSense is a common-sense use of our sexuality. It’s about how to use our private “sexuality” as Special. You are unique. You have something no other woman can give to a man…

It’s your secret love. Your essence. Your support. Loyalty. Respect. Encouragement. Empathy. Listening ear. Protection. Unconditional love. It’s your emotional gift unique to you. To be shared with that “someone” who treasures and loves you unconditionally–And shows it.


Today’s Sex Norm… 

We’re talking about sex because today’s norm is sex whenever with whoever without recrimination. Today’s woman is free to express her sexual agency in any way she chooses. With no one looking over her shoulder to reprimand.

“It’s time to take off the moral shackles, never to return,” she shouts.


These women want the freedom to ‘hook up, enjoy companion sex, casual sleepovers, orgies or experience the forbidden—go for it. She’s Free at last. Free at last. … or IS she?


The woman I’m addressing in this series is using her sexuality to find genuine love. And marriage. When she sleeps around, it’s only because she doesn’t know another way—all she knows is today’s norm. To you, I say, “Pay close attention”… there is a smarter…more influential…long-lasting way to get what you want.


Don’t think for a moment that “free love” is FREE. You pay a price.


Notice three ways:

  1. With the wrong partner the aftermath is emptiness… is this all there is?

Have you ever felt this way?

There is a better way that leads to fulfillment. Keep reading.


  1. You risk sabotaging a budding romance before it gets off the ground.

You didn’t give him a chance to know you first. To become his friend. He’s won too easily, and he’s gone on to another adventure.

Discover three critical ways to become friends …



  1. You demolish your chances of setting yourself up for the chase. Men exist to chase. Easy wins bore him. He’s off to another conquest. Sad. But true. You don’t have to be the next unwitting victim.
  • Master the art of the cat-and-mouse pursuit
  • Let him chase you until you both win.



No other woman on the planet can share with a man what your unique love can share.

So, do we give our love away for a dinner date? Just because you’re “in the mood?” You’re afraid he’ll walk away if you say No? It’s just something to do? He’ll like me better? Everyone does it? It’s the only way to hold him? Notice the following article:


February 12, 2019, JUST IN …

Following is an excerpt I just read by Mary J. Blige, a well-known singer, age 48. The article was posted by Madamenoire magazine, written by Victoria Uwumarogie.

Mary J. Blige Says If She’s Learned Anything When It Comes to Dating, It’s “Don’t Give It Away So Fast”

Mary J. Blige has been in enough relationships, including public ones, to have learned something about the right and wrong way to go about things when it comes to love. So, when she shared some dating advice for fellow single women struggling to meet their right match in big cities like LA, our ears perked up.

According to the 48-year-old singer and actress, she’s learned that the key to navigating the dating scene is being confident in yourself. Oh, and it’s also imperative that you keep your goodies to yourself for as long as you can.

“Treasure yourself,” she said in an interview. “Like, wait. Don’t give it away so fast. Make them wait forever for it. All of it. Just have confidence in yourself and they’ll see it in you. They’ll treat you like that. But if you’re not confident, they’ll treat you like that.”


Yes, ladies, it’s OK to set the rules. I know first hand this is the most effective dating path for women of the 21st century… Hands down.

Previously, in Book I, you learned how to Select Your Best Match. Once you’ve met the right man, how do you proceed from there? 


Book II introduces Abstisense as a winning technique. It comprises six steps. When you get to step four. It’s a pretty safe bet your sexuality will be reciprocated because you’ve established a history of togetherness that bonds. This is when the sexual ‘magic’ begins. (Caution: You still don’t have the ring yet). Be careful.


Meet Tracy Braun, Relationship Coach

What an awakening to understand what romantic love IS and IS NOT. What the purpose of dating IS and IS NOT. Red hot passion is necessary but must be accompanied by so much more.  

Like mutual appreciation, mirror imaging, verbal intimacy, reciprocal love, shared values, and the most meaningful time for sexual involvement. Then weave all four components of love together to unify the two as one.


It sounds intimidating until Coach Braun introduces a Six-Step System to date with purpose and direction.  It’s easy to learn—but calls for boldness to implement. If your desire to bond with one special person is intense, you’ll be eager to learn: WHAT to do, HOW to do it, WHY it works. Right?

All usually goes well until Dr. Braun explains no physical involvement (sex) until step four. What! Heads EXPLODE refusing to compute. How is it possible to wait for sex until … without coming across as frigid… weird…goody-two-shoes…old-fashioned. I mean, You’ve been around the block a few times… And now you’re saying, “Hold on a bit?”

I rage. No can do!

It’s a Mindset Change 

Coach Baun explains this discussion is not biblical abstinenceIt’s a safeguard keeping your heart from being trampled on leaving you feeling hurt…confused…angry…depressed…alone…bitter…mean…mad:

UNTIL… he respects/appreciations your VALUE. 

UNTIL… he’s your best friend to stand by your side through the good/bad/ugly.

A woman has to view her body as a “gift of high value”—A gift of her heartfelt love to be shared with the man who esteems her value, her uniqueness, her talents, her emotional selflessness, her kindness, her joy, her patience, — as a gift from her soul to his soul only.

OK, maybe that sounds a bit melodramatic. But you get the point.

Love is about shared values, deep respect, complementary differences to grow, bonding two as one, laughter and joy, and of course, “chemistry”.

It is NOT your name becoming a notch on someone’s pecker. Or being conned by a 90-day man. Those days are Over!


In other words, for a man to receive this gift from you, he has to EARN your love. He has to value you as the prize to win. You set the rules. You take the lead in dictating when sexual intimacy happens. It’s a little tricky. How to do this without turning him off? Sounding pushy. Too bossy. Or without him telling you to “get lost”.

It calls for full trust in yourself and the boldness to stick to your resolve. These are dating skills that I teach you based on understanding how men think and how they pursue.


Alas, though, Julie doesn’t follow this advice even after she learns it. We’ll meet the six men she dates and learn key do’s and don’ts from each encounter before she finds her true soulmate, Dave. 

Shockingly, after following all the steps, Dave hedges at marriage. What bold move does Julie take? Does it work? Why or why not?…

Sometimes it takes bold steps and guts to get what you want.


Delay sex until the scale tips in your favor for maximum benefit. Establish love first as a hedge against rejection.

happy married couple

Disclaimer: If your penchant is for hooking-up, casual sex, or friendship sex. Then the following doesn’t apply to you.  But, for women seeking intense soulmate love, commitment, and marriage…

This is a BIG DEAL.

And, NO, it’s not old-fashioned for two reasons:

  1. Men and women view sex in relationships differently. 
  2. Women attach emotion, therefore more vulnerable. (more info later)

Seriously, once you understand what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, and how to do it, the dating game and its secrets open up wide, and the mystery veil disappears. You’ll enjoy dating as never before because you will know what your role is, where you want to go and how to get there. It’s a simple process to learn.

But it depends on you to execute the steps effectively to benefit yourself.

Man offering engagement ringIn Conclusion: You learn how to:

  • Implement the Six Steps to Successful Dating
  • Master the art of the cat and mouse pursuit
  • Become his best friend
  • Establish verbal intimacy
  • Enjoy sexual intimacy
  • Communicate on all levels
  • Take a stand for the ring … And win!


At last, you’ve found your soulmate.  Now, marry the man who will love you all the way!

Get your copy here.


The only question to ask is…

“Do I believe enough in myself to invest in education to help me identify my best match then help me develop my relationship into the lifetime love I deserve?  Do I want to be a happy bride? Do I want to be loved? Do I want to share my life with a man I love? Of course, you do! Don’t wait another minute to start. 

“To love the one who loves you–To admire the one who admires you–In a word, To be the idol of one’s idol–Is exceeding the limit of human joy–It is stealing fire from heaven.”Delphine de Girardin


Exciting stuff, huh! At last, you’ve found a relationship series that gives you insider secrets to how love and romance develop and grow.


Come on, grab the happiness you deserve and start living the loving life you deserve!

Start reading Book II today!

Dating secrets revealed Click here.





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Donna Patterson