Consummate Love Includes: Picking up Smelly-Stained-Stinky Underwear

It takes the good, bad, and ugly to “Make Love Happen.”

Don’t ruin my dreams talking stinky underwear.


Just trying to keep it real.


We love to love. We love to be loved. We believe love is the essence of life. But what defines a real love between a man and a woman? Based on what? How do you identify it? Does it even exist?

Thankfully, the answer is Yes! … when you understand “the real love” formula.

A real love formula combines two components: Eros (romantic) and +Agape (principled love). They work in tandem. One without the other does not prompt a real love that will stand the test of time.


Eros Love Definition

Let’s start with Romantic love. it’s the weak-in-the-knees feeling when he walks into the room. It’s his voice that causes our heart to palpitate like drumbeats gone wild. Perhaps it’s that euphoric ‘rush’ when he embraces us with fire-stirring kisses that melt our soul and dissolve all reasonable senses.

It’s hot, mesmerizing, overwhelming at times.

We think of him every minute, every hour 24/7.

Oh, sigh…

By itself, romance is Not the end-all elixir that fulfills our empty heart like sunshine peeking through dark clouds. It’s Not the Cinderella dream poets write about. It’s Not spell-binding intoxication rendering your soul vulnerable to his every whim.

“But we love romance!” I hear you.

But let’s face reality. While crushing chemistry and passion are elements of true love, on their own, they’re not substantive enough to grow into mature, genuine love for the long haul.

Don’t fret, we’re about to discover what a real love looks like? Feels like. Sounds like. Tastes like.

Agape love definition

Love comprises four components. To reach true love couples engage all four components to form a cohesive, unbreakable, bond as One.

  1. philia –love of brothers (brotherly love) love of family members i.e., mother, father, sisters, brothers.
  2. storge‘– love between friends i.e. workmates, girlfriends, others
  3. eros– love between a man and a woman (sexual love)
  4. agape‘– love guided by principles of what is right and in the best interest of the family. It is love that is an unselfish devotion and sincere concern for the lasting welfare of the mate, along with an active expression of this for everyone’s good.

This post focuses on Agape love—because …




Agape love is A MENTAL DECISION. It is the glue that holds relationships/marriages together. It is guided by principles of what is right and in the best interest of the other. It is a code of conduct that governs the way we deal with our partners. It is love that has an unselfish devotion and sincere concern for the lasting welfare of our mate along with an active expression of this concern.

Couple sharing eye love over drinks

Practicing unselfish love enables couples to cultivate intense love for each other. It is principles by which we deliberately live. We make up our minds to seek the best for him or her so when emotional feelings come and go, this love remains because it is a mental decision.


What makes Agape love powerful is that it holds marriages together in the ‘bad’ times and there will be bad times. There is NO perfect relationship/marriage. Problems will arise. Agape love, however, is what enables couples to continue putting up with each other and forgiving one another freely if either has cause for complaint against the other. Agape love is the love that never fails because it continues to look out for the interest of the other.


Agape Love IShappy married couple

Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. It does not rejoice in unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” *


  • “Love is long-suffering and kind.” It puts up with unfavorable conditions and wrong actions of our partner with the purpose of working out problems and misunderstandings to eventual resolutions.


  • Love is kind,” no matter what the provocation may be. Roughness or harshness would not accomplish any good. Unkindness brings no benefit to either party. Unkindness distances rather than resolves.


  • “Love is not jealous.” It is not envious of good things coming to others. It rejoices in seeing a fellowman receiving a position of greater responsibility. It does not begrudge even one’s enemies for receiving good things.


  • Love is generous.” The generosity of our time, effort, and money toward our loved ones brings joy both to the recipient and the giver. Why not surprise your loved one with something today— just because…


  • Love “does not brag, does not get puffed up.” It does not seek the applause and admiration of others at someone else’s expense. Especially not a partner. One having love will not push the other person down to make himself appear greater.


  • Love “does not behave indecently.” It is not ill-mannered. It does not engage in indecent behavior, such as sexual abuse or shocking conduct. It is not rude, vulgar, discourteous, insolent or coarse, or disrespectful to anyone. One having love will avoid doing things that, in appearance or actions, disturb their partner.


  • Love “does not look for its own interests.” It follows the principle: “Let each one keep seeking, not his own advantage, but that of the other person.” Here is where concern for the lasting welfare of your partner shows itself. This sincere concern for them is one of the strongest motivating forces in love and one of the most effective and beneficial in its results. The possessor of love does not demand that everything be done his way.) Neither does love demand its “rights”; it is more concerned with the spiritual welfare of the other person.


  • Love “does not become provoked.” It is not looking for an occasion or an excuse for provocation. It is not moved to outbursts of anger. One having love is not easily offended by what others say or do. She is not afraid that her personal “dignity” may be injured.


  • Love “does not keep account of the injury.  It does not consider itself to be injured and so lay up that injury as something ‘on the books of account,’ to be settled, paid off in due time, in the meantime permitting no relations between the injured and the injurer to be carried on. That would be a vengeful spirit. Love will not impute evil motives to another, but will be inclined to make allowances and give others the benefit of the doubt.
Man loves his woman
  • “Love never fails”; it endures and continues to grow. New knowledge and understanding may correct things we once believed; hope changes as the hoped-for things are realized and new things are hoped for, but love always remains in its fullness and continues to be built up stronger and stronger.


A great benefit is that practicing Agape love can stave off many problems at the outset. But when they do arise, principled love will help heal wounds, cover over faults, and forgive in a large way to keep the relationship vital and intact.

Conclusion of the matter is …

Romantic Love coupled with Principled love is the winning formula to real love. * 1 Cor. 13:4-7.

Upcoming posts will discuss the three other types of love and how they interact with agape to ensure a real love that lasts a lifetime.

What’s next?


  1. Complete the opt-in form to receive a FREE checklist
  2. Look at Book I here: Book I- What 99% of singles don’t know about selection, but should!
  3. Please COMMENT. Let me know what’s on your mind, and the subjects you’d like to see addressed. I’ll answer.
  4. Continue to check weekly for posts that inspire and encourage your journey to find true love with your soulmate.

Donna Patterson

P.S. If you find this interesting, please pass it along to friends. It’s Much appreciated.

Read Book I Review

If you found value in the post, please leave comments and pass this along to friends on social media. Thx

Donna Patterson










Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.