Agape Love Defines a Real Love Formula

A Real Love Formula: Romance (Eros) + Principled Love (Agape)=Soulmate Love

Welcome ladies who love to love. Glad you’re here. My name is Donna Patterson, author of the Soulmate Matcher Series. I’m a recovering love too easily addict. My desire for romantic love led me down the tears in buckets hole more than was necessary. I wasted many years.

I say it wasn’t necessary because had I known the inner workings of this magic wonder drug we call love, I could have avoided hurtful stumbles. I could have made better selection choices. I could have recognized the wrong men for me, I could have found a real love so much sooner.

Now I want every woman to realize the prize that she is. Own it. Flaunt it. Capture your best match without having to kiss all the frogs along the way. I’ve compiled a treasure trove of relationship know-how and want to share these tidbits with you by means of dating articles.


Today is the first in a series of articles training on finding Soulmate Love.  Each article is presented as creative-non-fiction following the love story of Julie Shannon on her journey to identifying her best match, finding her soulmate, keeping love alive through the years.

So why should YOU care about following Julie’s adventures?

Because as Julie learns, you learn:

  • Acquire dating master skills through personality quizzes, compatibility quizzes, checklists, summaries, diary notes + development of your unique Selection Profile to identify your best match.
  • Experience her up and down dating escapades and apply lessons learned.
  • Cringe when she stumbles giving too much too soon, you take note.
  • Analyze her emotional decision to move her relationship forward when her partner hedges on commitment, and how you can assimilate this strategy for your own use.
  • Discover key bonding secrets Julie learns to forever love—You learn and apply

To start, how do you fall in love— if you don’t know what real love IS?

Today’s article reveals “A Real Love Formula.”

A real love formula combines two elements: Eros (romantic)+Agape (principled love). They work together to nurture genuine love that stands the test of time.

One without the other is like pancakes without syrup. We’ll discuss each—And how they correlate.

Eros Love Definition

Eros is Romantic love. It’s our dream come to life love. However, romance, by itself, is Not the end-all elixir that fulfills our life like sunshine in a moonless world. It’s Not the Cinderella dream poets write about. It’s Not some spell-binding surrender to one who intoxicates your soul. By itself, it’s Not silver-slipper happy ever after.

“But we love romance!” I hear you cry.

Sure, you do!

Because you get weak-in-the-knees when he walks into the room. His voice causes your heart to palpitate like drumbeats gone wild. You melt in his embrace of fire-stirring kisses that send euphoric rushes to your quivering soul.

It’s hot, mesmerizing, engulfing, overwhelming.

We think of him every minute, every hour 24/7.

Oh, sigh…

Now—Wake Up! —It’s time for REALITY.  While crushing chemistry and passion are elements of a real love, they’re not substantive enough to grow into a mature love for the long haul.

That said, a relationship without romance, won’t get you through the tough times either. We need our hearts filled with romantic love to even have the desire to reconcile. To put up the hard fight, to tackle and overcome the trials and tribulations of long-term love.

Again, we need both: Romance coupled with Agape principles. This, we discover, is what a real love looks like? Feels like. Sounds like. Tastes like.


Agape love definition

Love comprises four components. To reach true love level all four components must interact harmoniously together to form a cohesive, unbreakable, bond as One.

philia – (brotherly love) love of family members i.e., mother, father, sisters, brothers.

storge‘ – love between friends i.e. workmates, girlfriends, others

eros – love between a man and a woman (romantic/sexual love)

agape‘ – love guided by principles of what is right and in the best interest of the relationship. It is love that is an unselfish devotion and sincere concern for the lasting welfare of the partner, along with an active expression of this for everyone’s good.



Agape love is the glue that holds relationships/marriages together. It is a code of conduct that governs the way we deal with our wife, husband, partner. It is love that has an unselfish devotion for the lasting welfare of the relationship foremost (demonstrated by active expressions of that love) when hard times come knockin’ on your door…


Agape is “Love in Action.”


Practicing unselfish love enables couples to cultivate intense love for each other. It is principles by which we deliberately live. We make up our minds to seek the best for him or her so when emotional feelings come and go, this love remains because it is a MENTAL DECISION.


There is NO perfect relationship. Problems DO arise. Problems WILL arise. Agape love enables couples to continue putting up with each other, forgiving one another freely if either has cause for complaint against the other. Principled love will help heal wounds, cover over faults, and forgive in a large way to keep the relationship vital and intact.


One of its most beneficial contributions is that it can stave off many problems at the outset. This is why Agape love rarely fails because it continues to look out for the interest of the other.


Agape Love Traits

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous. It does not brag. It does not get puffed up. It does not look for its own interests. It does not become provoked. It does not keep accounts of the injury. It does not rejoice over unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.1 Cor 13:4-8.


Sounds good. But how does one APPLY these principles?


hearts and candles

Now that you understand the formula, I will post Tuesdays and Thursdays. upcoming articles feature Julie’s dating frustrations then peek into her new-found-experiences as she embarks on a more focused way of dating empowered with a purpose and a plan.

Again, as Julie learns—YOU learn.

Hope you enjoyed this read. Looking forward to sharing with you again soon. Be sure to follow me to receive each article.


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  2. Access Book I here: Book I- What 99% of singles don’t know about selection, but should!
  3. Please COMMENT. Let me know what’s on your mind, and subjects you’d like to see addressed. I’ll answer.
  4. Continue to check weekly for posts that inspire and encourage you on your journey to finding your own soulmate.

Donna Patterson

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